Anna Bykova is, as she herself says, a lazy mother. The psychologist and author of several bestselling books is even proud to be considered “lazy”. Because she is convinced that her laziness gives her children the opportunity to become more independent.
However, this kind of laziness isn’t due to lying on the couch all day, but because Anna doesn’t want to do everything at home on her own.
For example, she thinks that it is sometimes better to be “lazy” and let a 7-year-old do the dishes, which at the same time promotes motor skills and independence. If parents make all their children’s wishes come true in advance, the children do not learn to express their wishes or ask for help.
Thanks to her unconventional advice, she makes life easier for many parents.
1. How to prevent your child from having temper tantrums
Many parents have experienced difficult temper tantrums while raising their children. Anna’s advice could help prevent them:
- Hide all the things your child should not touch. This will prevent situations in which you have to take an object that your child is not allowed to play with. Putting too many prohibitions in place irritates children and limits their development.
- If you have to stop a game because there is lunch, suggest giving the toy something to eat first. Or if you want your young “builder” to stop building and sit down to eat, just announce that the construction crew is having lunch.
2. How to deal with your child’s temper tantrums
If, despite your best efforts, you can’t prevent a tantrum, here’s what you need to do:
- Direct your child’s attention to something else. It could be a bottle of soap bubbles, a balloon, or small toys that you have in your pocket as a precaution.
- Think of a routine to calm your child down. It could be a ditty, a fairy tale, or a game. For example, gently blow your child’s eyes to dry their tears or give them “magic” water to calm them down.
3. How to send your child to bed
Children often view going to bed as a punishment. Sometimes, however, parents place too much importance on getting the child to bed on time, which creates a lot of pressure that puts a strain on the child. If your child, like many others, is having trouble falling asleep, try the following tips:
- Sit next to your child on the bed. Put one hand on her thigh and the other on her shoulder. Now rock your child gently back and forth and try to mimic their breathing and take deeper and deeper breaths. This method relaxes the muscles and calms the nervous system.
- When reading to your child, add phrases about relaxation and falling asleep to the story. It is important to read slowly and with pauses in order to slow down your speaking rate. If you do it right, your child’s breathing will automatically slow down too, so they can fall asleep quickly.
4. Get your child used to sleeping alone
Besides going to bed, sleeping alone is a big problem for many children. These tips can help parents:
- Think of a symbol that represents peaceful sleep. This could be, for example, a soft toy that your child can hug while falling asleep. It also allows him to fall asleep well, even in a foreign environment.
- If your child’s motivation to sleep in bed is not strong enough, it is important to find new motivations. Choose together new bed sheets or accessories like glowing stickers, a soft night light or a dream catcher.
5. How to deal with picky eaters with food
Food is a basic human need. Even babies tell you crying when they are hungry and only calm down when they are full. You can try these tips with difficult kids:
- Have your child help you in the kitchen and let him taste all the ingredients. They can also help the supermarket to find the products you need.
If you are feeding your child their plate when it is obviously already full, think about why you are doing it. Just because that’s how you were brought up? Or are you worried that your child is not eating enough? Children have a strong connection to the needs of their bodies. They eat when they are hungry. Forcing a child to eat can later lead to disruption of their eating habits.
6. How to stimulate your child’s appetite
To stimulate your child’s appetite in a positive way, these tips can help:
- If your child doesn’t want to eat at mealtime, don’t let them eat snacks or sweets between meals.
- Try to avoid products that contain artificial flavor enhancers. If he eats it frequently, healthy food will taste bland.
- Take walks more often and try to keep your child physically active. Exercise will have a great influence on his appetite.
7. How to train your child to use the potty
The potty should always be in the same place where the child can easily see it. Plus, you should never force your child to sit on the potty. These tips will help your child get clean quickly and easily:
- At first, don’t forget to praise your child every time they sit on the potty. It doesn’t matter if he leaves something in the potty or just sits on it with his pants down to please his parents.
- You can also try putting a teddy bear next to the pot and telling stories about characters who are not wearing diapers.
While it may seem selfish or even sloppy to some if you let your children do a lot of things on their own, this “laziness” gives them the opportunity to become more independent and responsible. Healthy selfishness on the part of parents gives children the opportunity to thrive and also makes life easier for parents.
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